That's probably a laughable title. Who celebrates sobriety after just three days? And not even three total days, but two total days and half of a third? An addict does. That's who. What am I addicted to? Myself, mostly. Well, to be more precise I'm addicted to pleasing myself through a few specific indulgences, the… Continue reading Three Days Sober
My aim today was to write on the infinite damage done to our mind, body and soul when we engage in sexual promiscuity, one form of which is pornography. I wanted to write about the insane foolishness of trading perfection (God) for pixels (pornography). I hoped to illustrate how widespread this drug of choice has… Continue reading Preferring Pixels Over Perfection
The Phone The phone rings, caller known or unknown it doesn't matter, and I stare at the screen terrified to answer. I can't do it. I can't talk to people right now. I can't make a voice. And what if they need something? What if I have to go outside? I can't do it. I'll… Continue reading The Battle
1I've been walking along this road beginning as far back as I remember. In fact if you asked me when this Walk began I might say, "It's all I've known, so much so that I didn't realize I was upon it until just now." 2And now that you've mentioned it, I can't help but notice.… Continue reading The Road
Some days I feel rather in control of my life. Take Monday for example. I laughed a lot on that day. I gathered wood and built a tree house in a video game. I drank a perfect medium roast hazelnut coffee with just a splash of cream. I read C.S. Lewis and St. Paul. I… Continue reading Responsibility Meets Chemistry, But Where?
Two Years It was two summers ago I began seeing a counselor by happenstance. I continued seeing him because he noticed and started to uproot a vast and complex series of issues I struggled to keep the lid on since my pubescent years. Well, maybe not struggled, because I thought I was doing a pretty… Continue reading Two Years, One Lesson.
This is an infinitely complex subject with so many variables and so much nuance that in order to write anything about it, I need to keep my focus incredibly narrow. This means I will inevitably gloss over vast amounts of detail. Keeping that in mind, what I want to focus on today is the nature… Continue reading A Few Thoughts on Depression, Suicide and Support.
Wrist vibrates. Fitbit's telling me to wake up. Silenced. “Abandoned. Abusive. Alone. Arrogant. Annoying. Bastard. Boring. Burden. Exhausted. Failure. Fake. Forgotten. Hurtful. Hypocrite. Meaningless. Rejected. Stupid. Trapped. Ugly. Waste. Weak. Worthless." I did not invite this. An invasion has taken place upon my mind. Before I smell the morning brew I can taste the familiar bitterness of… Continue reading The Siege of a Saint. Morning’s Madness.